(Genre Reflection) Dear Miss Bailey: A Letter to My Future Self

Dear Miss Bailey,

            Hopefully you are at the point in your teaching that you look upon this letter and laugh, rather than cry as I feel like doing now. The struggle in balancing the firm expectations of being a teacher writhe through my mind and I fear that I will never become you. We learn that it is important to build relationships with them, our never ending mass of pupils, but to be careful in our natural mannerisms and terms of endearment that we have grown up using.  We learn that we must be cautious in our own, personal lives, for we represent something far more important than ourselves.

            I do hope that you have come to master this, for I am in utter fear.

            How am I to be firm in rules and policies, but not so much in a manner where I am “targeting” a student. We learn that we must be precise in our teachings, but flexible to cater to the multitude of different children that come through our door. How do I avoid being accused of racial stereotyping and avoid that dreaded phrase, “It’s because I’m black,” or, at least, how do I respond to it? I haven’t even come to understand how to cater to the needs of my future students without giving special treatment, or inadvertently singling one of them out. We read about methods of teaching, and how to apply one idea or concept in different manners, but we so little learn about how to interact with specific students, with specific problems, with specific demons. That one exceptionalities class did so little for me.

            I do hope that you have picked up some ideas along the way, for I am in utter fear.

            They often say that teaching is a never ending learning experience, and that a true teacher is a forever learner, but this idea scares me. I find it terrifying that I will not ever truly have the knack of teaching down pact, though I do know it is because with every new group of students, comes a new group of minds, personalities, and backgrounds. I feel silly for understanding, yet still fearing.

            I do hope that you have overcome this, or, at least, come to better accept it.

Best of wishes,

Just Lorylyn